The true story of my break up.

I was inspired by a post on Tiktok, sharing stories of longest relationship and why it ended.

So im sharing mine here. (To my friends who were there for us, thank you). 

 

We were together for 5 years. It started as normal friendship from work. I was happy being single and was actually embracing the single life. He came into to the office as a trainee (yeah, BPO life). Thats how we got to know each other. 

Honestly, he was my type - physically. Tall, Chinito, kindda fair skinned. But he comes off too strong and he knows he's good looking so I was turned off. 

Still he pursued and put effort on everything, he wasnt shy, he clearly made moves on me and at first, I was put off, but eventually won me over. 

We got together but had to keep our relationship secret until he passed his trainee days. When we officially came out - everyone was happy for us. Specially for me, because I kindda mellowed down on my "mean girly-ness" (Im not really a mean girl, im just hard to please when it comes to work). 

Within our 2-3rd year together, we decided to move in together because its the sensible thing to do, its financially sound for us. We were happy, we're like newly weds on our honey moon. It's a phase, trust me. 

At first, its was ok with me, his little habits was cute and funny, however, probably a year of living together instead of me getting used to it, it irritated me. Honestly, it should be, I have to get used to it right? No, i went the other way. 

Mid year 4 - I started to question the relationship. What I was doing, where is this going, am I happy? I didnt know the answer to these questions. I never told anyone because I dont want to raise the alarm on my friends and I want to discover the answer for myself. 

Dec 2016 - I went to Singapore to be with the fam for the Holidays and I seemingly got the answer. I know I love him still, but not the same as before and, I wasnt happy and I feel like he wasnt either. 

I felt like Dec 2016 really was the time that we needed to figure out what we are and what we want. 

January 2017 came back to the Philippines - and him and his Dad picked me up from the airport and I told myself, when I see him, Smile, be happy, you missed him. And I was thinking, did I?

Jan-Feb-Mar 2017 was really us moving in a routinely fashion. I can tell he's as lost as I am. I tried so hard to be cheery and loving but deep inside I dont feel it. That was also the time I started asking him "Happy ka?" Hoping he would answer No, but kept on saying "Oo naman".

He also started saying let's try for a baby. I was taken aback, but I didnt show it. I was wondering why is he suggesting it? I dont want to, but instead of saying no, I said "You sure?" He said, "Yeah, its time for us.." I breathe in deeply and said "Okay.." Was I trying to convince myself or was he trying to convince himself? 

We fell out of love for each other, we both know it, but we were both in denial that we dont love each other anymore...

We both know we're not happy but couldn't come to terms with it. 

We finally broke up on a Wednesday. I think I instinctively caused the fight to happen and just pushed him to break up with me. I kept on saying mean things like, your selfish, your this and that. 

That night, we cried, we talked, we hugged. He admitted that he thought a baby would "save us". It wont. I finally said, "Glad I didnt get pregnant." He took all his stuff, he stayed 30 mins in the car on the parking lot crying, while I lied in bed crying. 

We both wanted to end things, but it still hurts. That was 5 years of our lives together.

Did I hate him when we broke up, honestly no. We were friends when we broke up, we were in good terms. 

Things only got bad for us when I found out, that he was already seeing someone while we were still together. That made me feel bad, so I cut off all ties. I blocked him on socials because I thought, after all this time, you couldnt even be honest with me. I also blocked the new girl because I dont want to do anything with her and, I want her to focus on her, not on me. Ive had my fair share of exes stalking me, and it was not fun (i prolly tell that story another time)

Have I moved on? Yes, completely and surprisingly - very easily, took me 1 month? I guess, 1.5 months. 

Has he tried to contact me? I honestly wouldnt know. I blocked him and I dont know his phone number. Hahaha!

Am I ok being friends with him again? Honestly yeah, I wouldnt mind it. We started off as friends and we're good, so why not? 

I guess this is it. Happy Love Month, hope you all have a better relationship than I did.